Funny anecdotes with Michael Jackson by David Gestby Myi Hammons, February 06, 2011
June 29, 2009
This is an extract of the David Gest's autobiography, producer among others of the 30 anniversary concert at Madison Square Garden, 2001.
Stories of David Gest. Autobiography: Simply the Gest
We flew to Nashville and rent a car. He was driving and I soon
realized how bad he was doing it. Completely crazy.
-"Michael, you have to sing through the intercom", I told him.
- Sing what? He asked-
- You have to sing "This is the City of Music and here
I'm". I am Mike Mc Donald so applause.
He looked at me confused, but went ahead. The boy from the
other side of the intercom came and said with his south accent,
how can I help you?
Michael and me had fun pranking to each other. One of my favorites was to make another voice and pretend that I was somebody else... In the beginning of our work together, Michael was in a hotel in Little Rock, Arkansas. He loved eating. He just arrived and I knew that the first thing he would do is to order the room service. As soon as it came to his room I called him putting female voice and telling him:
- Darling, do you want me to bring something to the room?
- Oh yes, sweetheart. I will order a hamburger, he said. (He always called the people sweetheart or baby).
- Ok darling , I replied.
- I want it with mustard and ketchup
- Baby, we have no mustard or ketchup
- No? He asked
- No, We have ordered them two days ago
- Ok, some spice.
- Darling, we have no spices. We have them all finished.
- Ok, some mayonnaise
- There is no mayonnaise
At that time he had reached the limit. So he started to scream: You have not mustard, or ketchup, nor french fries, or pastries. What kind of restaurant is this?
I broke laughing. I had stayed with him. I did exactly the same joke after 25 years. We were not working together but I knew where he was staying
Michael loved to call people. He did it often when he came to my house. He used to take the phone, dial a number and start to prank.
The person on the other side answered and Michael said, who is?
The other side said something like, I am Lenore.
He said, Oh Lenore, listen, we will have to divorce. I cannot continue with this.
And she said, No, no, you are wrong
Michael then interrupted and said, No, Lenore, don't try that with me. I have finished with you. We'll divide everything in equal parts, but it has to be like this.
Then he hung, leaving the person on the other side of the line
wondering exactly what demons had passed.
(1978). Michael was staying in my house in Dohney and was happy
to be there
We went to have dinner with Burt Bucharach
and Carole Bayer Sager
Incredibly, he did not know what was made of.
- Grapes, I said.
- I like grapes, Michael said, I think I will try some.
So we ask a third bottle and Michael drank the most also. Then, it was when I knew that we were going to have a problem that night.
The night came to the end and I brought Michael back to my house. He was understandably happy. In fact, he was flying high, very high. In the car he was talking and laughing. He was singing, "I wanna be where you are" and "Never can say goodbye".
You are going to be in troubles, he said. I am going to tell Joseph what you have done.
I was not going to fall, "Not me, you did", I told him.
It took us a few minutes to get home. At the moment I parked the car and opened the door, Michael bent over and vomited all over the place. He spent the rest of the night going to the bathroom. He was more bad than a dog. I spent the night at his side.
He continued saying, I am going to tell Joseph that you corrupted me. I was somewhat concerned that he was going to do it, but he never did
Al Green Church, 1978 When the moment came to go to the party, Michael complained strongly. He was suffering the worst case of sharp pain for wearing
the underwear too tight. He couldn't move. Both sides of his legs were suffering a strong chafing. We went to the church the following day. Michael was still very sore and suffered strong sharp pain.
When we arrived, Al was singing the Curtis Mayfield classic "People get ready". He continued to cause an amazing effect in the people the woman who was sitting next to us began to hyperventilate, as many African-American women do when they go to the church, she began to babble and to jump from one side to another. Then she fell between Michael's legs.
I will never forget the gaze of Michael. It was pure horror.
He was sitting there, paralyzed, obviously with a tremendous pain, whispering, Help Me, help me.
I could only smile and say, What I'm going to do? I am not going to take her away above. You'll have to do it by yourself!
The woman was there for 10 minutes. Only when Al Green asked
Michael to join him in the singing we could take her from the
crotch of Michael.
Michael used disguises often. Once, he was a sheik and I was his translator. We went to a place called Carnation Restaurant where they served tuna salads and sandwiches. At that time, Michael only ate organic food, but he had a rare idea of what was organic. If we went to KFC, Michael thought that if the chicken's skin was taken off it became organic food.
Anyway, that day in Carnation they were two women and a man of about 80 years old. We began to speak in our particular arabic between us.
When the two women started to look at us I spoke to one of them and told her: The sheik Majolini wants to tell you that you and your friend are beautiful ladies.
These two ladies probably would not have received a compliment
in the last 20 years so they began to laugh. Then we started
talking. They asked what was the sheik doing there and I told
them that he had just been divorced from his wife number 97
and had 154 children.
- "As much as he knows", I said. He had 97 wives and started naming, "Jada, Jami, Shakira, Vera " with Michael saying this in an invented Arab.
There was nothing malicious in it. In fact, Michael paid their
bill, he was like that, always making jokes with the people.
Sometimes, however, the joke became against us. The funniest thing that happened to us was a night when we went to eat pancakes. It was after 1 a.m. and our usual place, Dupars, was closed. So we went to another one in Ventura Boulevard. They were only a couple of people there.
The waitress was about 70 years old. It was around 1979, when Off The Wall was released. Michael was world's number one and she didn't recognize him at all.
She came to our table and asked what we wanted to order. I made an Arabian accent and said "Yamaka fallesh".
Michael began to laugh and she slapped him with the back of her hand. She said, "this is not fun, your friend is from a foreign country and you have to respect the people who comes from foreign countries".
Michael became nervous; he didn't use to be treated like that in public. He hided himself under the table to avoid her.
I asked him, "What is a pancake? tell me, please".
The waitress began to make mimics. "It is like a cake crushed".
Michael began to laugh again and she raised her hand again so he sneaked away as he could.
Then she said, "Ok, I am going to bring you to the kitchen", and she and the cook taught us how the pancakes were made. We asked many of them.
When they arrived at the table, I emptied the bottle of syrup over them. She immediately slapped me in the face. It hurt.
"It's not funny", she said. Michael was laughing again.
She brought a new portion and I ate it. When we left, Michael left her a $200 tip.´
We were going by the parking toward the Rolls Royce of Michael when the waitress approached running to us.
"I cannot keep this, probably you are working to go to the college and need the money", she said, without realizing the car that he was driving.
Michael insisted, but she said, "no, I don't take it".
We couldn't believe it.